Where do kings keep their armies? In their sleevies. How do you catch a squirrel? You climb up a tree and act like a nut. “This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.” Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back, luckily I was the one facing the TV. Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because if they lived by the bay they’d be bagels.

Some random lame jokes that are so dumb, they're actually funny...