As far as we know this is the first time anyone has written a book attempting
to put mate selection on a sensible basis, despite the fact that sooner or later
almost everybody selects one.
A good many people resent the idea of an outsider telling them how they
should pick a mate. They think it smacks of meddling. Marriage is something
sacred and personal. It should not be done according to rules. We heartily
sympathize.
Unfortunately, however, marriages are not made in Heaven. Usually
people marry by hunch or impulse ... or because their parents think it is a
good match ... or because they get themselves so deeply involved
romantically that marrying seems the only proper thing to do.
Too frequently such methods merely mess up a couple of people’s lives.
More than a third of all the millions of marriages undertaken in the last ten
years are in trouble. Many are already dissolved. Many more soon will be.
A great deal of research and counseling has now been done in the field of
marriage, and the findings validated. At Penn State, for example, hundreds of
couples who were tested before marriage at the Marriage Counseling
Service are checked periodically after marriage to find how they are making
out. Of all the marriages which the service predicted would be successful,
not one has yet ended in divorce or separation. Most of the people who went
ahead despite the clinic’s cautions are already in serious trouble or have
been divorced.
As a result of many such investigations, reliable information is available
on the kinds of people who make the best mates, and on the causes of
marriage success and failure.
In this book we have tried to include those findings which should be most
helpful and interesting to all people involved in love or marriage—but
particularly to people who sooner or later will be taking unto themselves a
mate. It is not our intention to lay down a set of rules for people to follow.
But we hope that after reading this book you will be more enlightened in your
hunches than you might be otherwise, and be a much happier and more
desirable mate yourself!