Have you ever questioned what your partner’s long-term relationship goals might be? Have you wondered if they have a good time in bed? Or have you simply puzzled over what’s going on inside their head? If you answered yes, then you need this list of questions for couples to help you get on the same page.

Whether you ask each other fun questions on a date night or get into the nitty gritty about the future, it’s extremely important for couples to have conversations both big and small, says Valeria West, MHC-LP, a psychotherapist and owner of Intuitive Healing Psychotherapy Practice. “There can be powerful stories that arise even from couple questions that seem silly or inconsequential,” she tells Bustle. “When couples get to know their partner’s inner world in a way that feels meaningful and deep, it allows them to feel more connected.

When you’ve been with your partner for a while, it’s easy to assume you know everything there is to know about them. After all, you’ve spent countless nights recounting your dreams, fears, childhood memories, embarrassing moments, favorite sandwich toppings, and more. In addition, you’ve made incredible memories and been by each other’s side through all of the highs and lows. You get each other.
These conversation starters will help you learn more about their interests and whatever’s currently taking up their mental real estate.

It’s healthy to learn about the narratives that have made up your partner’s outlook on the world and yes, that includes exes. Their ex-partners are an important part of their history and telling of their relationship patterns. If you haven’t had time to get into their past, there’s no better time than the present.