How to Do the Work comes this paradigm-shifting guide to strengthen your relationships, beginning with the one you have with yourself. Relationships have long been essential to human survival. Our bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection, both romantic and platonic. And yet, these vital bonds are often the at the root of some of our deepest suffering. For decades, experts have posited that maintaining successful relationships requires a certain kind of compromise; of two people changing their behaviors and instincts to better meet the needs of the other.