Dear I":
You may not be happy now, and you may think that you are watching your life repeat itself before you, but in any case you cannot give up, you did not give up before, so why would you now? Yes, you have suffered so much before that you need not be defeated now!
Nothing stands between you and what you want but you; So get up, do what you have to do, there's no point in procrastinating, you've already succeeded and you just have to realize it. I believe in you, I trust in you, my dear.